Thoughts: On Procrastination

This week’s assignment is called “Neglected Project”, the idea is that we work on a project that we’ve been neglecting…the problem with this is that once you’ve neglected a project for so long it becomes easy to continue doing so. The project that I’ve selected is on that truthfully I can’t afford to neglect any longer. About 8 weeks ago I started taking Beginner Burlesque classes through Lily’s Burlesque Academy, taught by Ophelia Flame: the Burning Sensation. Since this was my second time around with the class, I decided to take the performance package, which includes the classes, three workshops and 4 half hour private lessons with Ophelia. As the name implies, we celebrate the end of the class with a performance. That performance is coming up quickly…the end of this month in fact. And I’m not ready, not nearly so…because I’ve been procrastinating….

This is a problem I’ve had for years. I’d say I’ve mastered it… But I’m reminded of some words of wisdom I heard from my professor at MCAD in response to the phrase “I work well under pressure”, he used to say, “Of course you do, what choice do you have?”. I think I’ve trained myself to let things go until the last minute, at which point I light a fire under my bum and get the project done. I get some kind of high from the feeling of being rushed, busy and generally under pressure, so I keep doing it to myself. Looking back on most of my projects I realize that I could have done so much better if I planned more in advance, spent more time here or thought something through more thoroughly.

In this case, I knew that I needed to prepare for the performance. I had to pick music, order fans, make the costume and create the choreography. The music and ordering the fans were no problem, but when it took a month for the fans to be shipped, I started losing interest and felt like it was easier to put it off. Now I’m less than a month out and I am only a little closer to having a costume but have gotten nowhere on the choreography itself.  When I started working on my costume this week, I made a couple of time consuming mistakes that really disheartened me. Plus, it’s hitting me that in a week and a half I’ll be going to Guatemala for 11 days, getting back on the 29th, leaving me with little time to get ready. This week during my private lesson with Ophelia, I sat down and told her I couldn’t do it, I was more afraid of going through with it and failing than I was of just not going through with it at all. It felt easier to quit and just run away from it. Ophelia talked me through my options, looked at what I had for my costume and told me that I was farther along than I thought. She said that if I felt strongly about backing out, she would let me, but two other girls already backed out this session, leaving her with myself and four other girls to fill an hour long show… I realized that I made a commitment to her and to myself and that down the road I would very much regret not following through.

So why am I writing a blog and not working on it right now? Good question, I’m sitting at Cahoots with Megan and Mike…while the three of us continue neglecting our projects… Go us… Stay tuned for the Neglected Projects posts…I’m sure they’ll all be interesting…