I think we all were a bit evil when we chose each other’s assignments that first week. But not pure evil, just the kind of evil where you know exactly what someone does not want to do and what will give them difficulty and you tell them to do just that. We had good intentions though. This was a bit ago (I’m finally getting caught up on all my posts) so as a quick reminder, Katie did a landscape in pastel, Mike did a landscape in ink with a limited palette, and I did a self-portrait in charcoal. I was nervous. This was just after discovering I like drawing faces but still ever so wary of actually drawing my own. Also, I hadn’t touched charcoal since my Foundation Drawing course freshman year. Really, all my supplies got packed and unloaded every time I moved, found homes in all different corners of the room, but I really hadn’t even opened my case until I got home from our meeting.
I tried it out a couple times and just got frustrated. I didn’t like how the lines were so thick, so dark, how everything was so…huge and obvious on the paper, especially all my mistakes. I didn’t like that it didn’t stay put. It smudged when I didn’t want it to smudge, somehow turned into really dark streaks across the image when I did try to blend a shadow or line, and refused to move when I really just wanted to soften one area. I tried a couple times during the week, each time ending up putting everything away in disgust or getting frustrated and smearing the blackest lines I could across the paper to mask what I didn’t like and couldn’t seem to make happen.
Finally, Saturday I reached a break through. I brought my stuff to Barnes&Noble with my roommate and just stopped trying so hard. I finally let go and got messy with it, laying down very dark lines and patches and just forgetting about how I was supposed to draw and wanting to be good. I finally got caught up in the shadows on the face and not caring if I made a mistake or if something didn’t look perfect. When I took a step back at it I realized I had just understood charcoal again for the first time in three years, my brain switched into that mode and now I’d love to try it again. Maybe not a self-portrait, but something big that I just get my hands into and be really messy with. (There’s only so much mess you can make at a bookstore)
ishkadoodles
lockecole1994
megmarie28
